I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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