hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
