my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
