Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
the raccoons are back...
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