I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
