dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
