I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
