Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
