my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
