it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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