i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
