I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
