yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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