I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize