New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize