Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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