Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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