Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
