what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
