I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
if only i could text you this smell
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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