Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
This toilet bowl is my home.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize