There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
