No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
