So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize