She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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