tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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