smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
