dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
