Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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