So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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