This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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