So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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