I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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