I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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