I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
