you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
