why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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