i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
