she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
