Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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