watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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