You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
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We can get drunk and battle coyotes
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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