I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
