We're like a lot better than the average bears
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
