do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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