i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
