it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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