Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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