I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
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