i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
