I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
