There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
