is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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