She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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