You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
