Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
