it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
