How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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