he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
