Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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