I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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