you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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