Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
