were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
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i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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May the power of my ass compel you!!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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