my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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