dude i'm inner monologue high
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
