It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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