Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
