i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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