I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
