And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
