but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
